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Friday, October 22, 2004

Election - I finally decided!

Hi, out there!

Over the last two months I’ve really agonized over who I would vote for - for President. I don’t really like a lot of long explanations or complex arguments. I’m a professional, a manager, and I hope you don’t think I’m an idiot, but I like to keep things simple.

I’m really sick and tired of everyone bashing each other, hurling insults at each other, criticizing, defending, yada, yada, yada. Enough, already!

So I turned off the t.v. for two days after the last debate, just so I could get some peace and quiet, and get away from all the noise and ruckus of the news. So you know, I am single, broke up with my last boyfriend about a year ago and have been dating since. I believe in a higher power, and I do go to church about once a month, but I don’t feel I have the right to push my religion on anyone else.

I was surprised at how great I felt on the second day when I realized how serene it was without the news on all the time while I was cleaning. I didn’t get mad about Iraq; I didn’t wonder what the polls were reporting; I got away from the mud-slinging. I felt so much lighter!

Then on Sunday afternoon while I was driving to Safeway, it hit me that maybe I could choose the president the way I would choose a boyfriend! Well, actually, a husband because I’ve picked some not-so-great boyfriends. Wow, wouldn’t that make it all so easy? One part of me feels like I want all the statistics, all the credentials, all their past accomplishments …but then the other part of me says “Too much information!”

So… what if I just trust my female intuition?

Here’s what I came up with…

I’m 30-something and single. I’ve had some good relationships and some really $#itty ones. What made the good ones good? The guys, of course. What about them, though? I mean, there was a great “us” but I’m trying to limit it to just the guys.

- They treated me really well and respected my opinion
- They wouldn’t keep me guessing, and I knew I could count on him
- They might not always say the right thing but his actions proved how much he loved me
- They tried to never say mean things about other people
- I knew they accepted me just the way I am and even loved my faults
- They would always stand up for me no matter who it was

And what about the losers?

- They knew the lines and knew how to charm me (and I still can’t believe I fell for that!)
- They were selfish: put themselves first, ahead of me, ahead of anyone else
- They were not really mean guys and some were nice, but they never really intended to stay around very long - they were out for themselves (sounding familiar?)
- They would tell me whatever I wanted to hear - at the moment - then I'd catch them in a lie and they'd change their story until I finally caught on months later
- When things started going bad, they were full of excuses that I wanted to believe them even though I knew better

So this is what I came up with…

Basically I already assume we’ll have chemistry or I wouldn’t even consider him. But for the long haul, I want a man who is going to love me and who will stand by me to the very end, no matter how hard it is. I want a man whom I can love madly and passionately through the good times. The difference is that only a special man will have the staying power to suffer through the really hard times. In a nutshell, I’ll know I can trust him. I’ve had a lot of heartbreaks, and I’ve had boyfriends when I always worried where he was, with whom, what he was doing…

In a husband, when I walk down the aisle, I’ll know that he’s going to stick with me until the very end.

So (deep breath!) what it boils down to, is this…

I've come to realize that I probably won't be able to tell what's the truth and what's lies, and I'm not going to rely on the news for this election. I'm going to use my heart - my female wisdom.

About Iraq… I know that today I feel safe, and I won’t ever forget what I saw on t.v. on 9/11. I do know I never want to see anything like that again for myself, my friends, my family, or my kids when I have them. I have a distant relative in the Army and a friend of an ex in the Air Force, and they tell me very different stories about Iraq from what I hear on the news, so I take everything with a grain of salt that I see on t.v. or hear on the radio.

But the real bottom line is this – we really don’t know the future. When I get married I will hope for a white picket fence, a dog in the yard, two or three kids… and in the back of my mind I know that life can be full of surprises, good and bad. I want a wonderful man beside me whom I love and respect and I know I can trust so we can make it through.

Somehow, after all that, I know that I really don’t like him that much, and he’s definitely not my type. But of the two, I trust George Bush more. I have really tried to trust John Kerry, but it just doesn’t click. I can’t really explain it. Maybe it’s an intuition thing.

George Bush is not, by any stretch, the best president I’ve seen, and actually he’s pretty darned mediocre. But you know, he doesn’t brag about himself (insecure men brag about themselves - this I know!), he’s pretty simple, and he’s basically a good guy. He seems decent, and what makes the main difference is how much he loves and respects Laura – and listens to her. He really needs her and you can tell. And it’s pretty obvious how much she admires him. If they can keep their marriage and family together, and after all those years, he still has that sparkle in his eye for his wife – then that speaks volumes. I saw it myself on t.v. No debate commentator has to tell me that. And I had a hard time with Kerry talking about marrying up and then talking about his mom (Mama's boy?! - I've seen this before, too!).

Anyway, if Bush can keep his life together after everything that’s happened - keep his marriage intact and his wife happy, that’s all I need to know. I trust the guy, even if I don’t like him that much – and he gets my vote. I hope when I'm married if my husband makes public appearances, that he'll talk about me like that.

It’s not scientific, it’s not supported by any data, but I know I am a bright and independent woman. I can trust my own instincts and intuition. We don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

I hope by telling my story I can help anyone else who might be feeling the same confusion that I did. It was for several (long and agitated) weeks that just got me upset all the time. I don’t believe anyone should pressure me to any point of view, and that’s how I felt. I can figure it out myself – and I have, thank you very much.

Good luck to you! Write to me if you want!